The Prison of "Special"

"I am the center of the universe. I come first, therefore I am most important." 

Most people feel this notion, strongly, and some don't mind plotting, scheming, and deluding everyone (including themselves) to maintain this belief.

To say otherwise is to commit treason, though once in a while, we see ourselves for the nothings we are, relative to the grand scheme of life.

The tiny roles we play get exaggerated by our ego, and that's ok.

Such was the case for Princessa, who was brought up to believe she was better than her neighbors.

She maintained this belief, pushing herself to outgrow every environment she found herself in.

Believing she was destined for Greatness, she wasn't allowed to mingle with "low-class" people.

Her caliber of friends and acquaintances reflected this fact.

She basked in the idea she was different, as compliments were showered on her, regularly. 

Taking extra caution to live up to set expectations, she over-compensated in most areas of her life.

All accomplishments were seen as nothing new, as “special” was her default.

She was a great achiever in school, and her future seemed bright by all projections.

But was she really that special? 

This attitude of superiority limited her engagement with the world, as most people she came across were average, and all her neighbors, in all residences she occupied, weren't deemed good enough to associate with.

This affected her ability to empathize or be cared for.

She gradually slides into depression, in her prison of "Special", as she longs for connection.

Information was hardly ever passed to her as she exempted herself from meetings and refused to join the WhatsApp groups created for vital updates.

She wouldn't want neighbors or classmates to have her phone number.

"What if a 'low-value' man tries to holla at her?" - she would console herself.

This has led her down a very lonely road, with no common interest with anyone around her.

 She sets up her ring light, hoping to connect with strangers online.

Her followers grow like wildfire, but their connection is shallow, usually talking about her looks and never about her personality beyond superficialities.

Her flooded DMs have nothing of substance, as her insecurities about finding a high-value man come into play when she looks through profiles.

She feels bad for not knowing how to turn off the feeling of superiority.

She has been constantly validated with friends and family emphasizing her worthiness of all the good things of life, including privileges not afforded the common man.

Now it poses a challenge, as her close circle is so small, that she is worried she is making a bad decision. 

Princessa is learning to be more accommodating, though she still finds it difficult to let people into her space.

Whenever she steps out of her shell to connect with people in her environment, she finds herself mostly alone, having to deal with a lot of rejection, as people often feel judged by her subconscious disapproval of their mode of being.

Social media fame makes it difficult to be level-headed in our new attention economy.

Her claim to royalty was a program planted deep within her psyche, and today she seeks help from a therapist, trying her best to clean up her snobbish reputation amongst her peers.

Will she succeed? Will time run out? Is it too late for her?

How similar is her case in today's society? 

We are all great in our own ways and together we make up the diversity in humanity.

When we learn to process the origins of our habits and limiting beliefs, we find ways to mitigate, supplement, and regulate the effects of our weaknesses.

Being cut off from humanity due to our false sense of superiority can be a handicap. She is lucky to realize this early enough.

Thank you for being here. Let's meet in the comments.