Overcoming PTSD & OCD: Powerful Routines of a Nigerian Creative | PT 1

A GUIDE TO MENTAL HEALTH

In my 7-year effort to build the Provoe brand (a platform teaching self-mastery), I applied some hacks that helped me to survive the challenges of being a Nigerian creative.

Dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder from my childhood without therapy, I encountered some toxic experiences in the entertainment industry, which helped me detect symptoms of bipolar disorder. I self-diagnosed my mental health condition through dedicated research and self-observation.

Have you ever felt sad, angry, or confused, shortly after basking in joyful enthusiasm? It's OK to feel these emotions, as everyone does. But when your mood changes erratically, consider paying attention to your mind.

What is Mental Health?

Just like self-care - you brush your teeth, bathe, eat healthy, exercise, and get good sleep to maintain a healthy body. But what do you do to maintain a healthy mind?

Mental health is about how you feel, think, and behave. This affects your attitude and impacts your daily life.

I had a predominantly negative attitude for a long time, as I found it difficult to communicate my needs each time I interacted with people. I was overly defensive and insecure, assuming the worst of every situation, before discovering it was all in my head. Vain imaginings, I would call them.

I was often impatient during conversations, which led to interruptions and frequent misunderstandings. My fast-paced mind would jump to a conclusion before someone completes a sentence.

I had a low tolerance for noise distractions and my dedication to perfection often rubbed people the wrong way.

For example, I was sensitive to people who spoke with a high volume around me. In the studio, I would easily get irritated by banter and cellphone noises whenever I tried to focus on a task.

My mind would find it difficult to let go of the slightest disturbance and my intrusive thoughts would push me to either say something rash or frown, messing up my mood and affecting my inspiration. I cope much better now, thanks to a burning desire to study the mind, how it works, and what self-imposed limitations I had to deal with.

Understanding OCD

OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It's when you have unwanted thoughts or feelings that make you do things over and over again. For example, someone with OCD might check things repeatedly. The curse of perfection, indeed.

In my case, I obsess over tiny details in my work, making it difficult for the average person to be around me. “Did I care about perfection, or was I insecure, dealing with impostor syndrome?” This was a thought I battled with for years, while I developed competence, experience, and self-esteem. My confidence was built on the quality of my work.

For example, when recording a voice-over artist, I would make them retake a phrase multiple times until they got the delivery right. It was necessary to get a good job done, but this compulsive practice led to some frustration on their part. They saw me as “difficult to work with”.

My obsession for quality often led to misunderstandings which affected my reputation as the years went by. The more I fussed about tiny details, the more I alienated myself, which is bad for a corporate career in the media industry.

I finally realized life wasn't that serious when I began my self-mastery journey. I had to become aware of my OCD and this helped improve my mental health. In fighting to remain conscious in all my interactions, I developed a high level of awareness, leading to the discovery of bipolar disorder and ADHD symptoms as well. What a combination.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder is like a rollercoaster. Sometimes you feel really happy and excited (mania), and other times you feel really sad and down (depression).

It's important to remember that these feelings are part of the disorder and it's not your fault. Rooted in trauma, bipolar disorder is a condition that improves with therapy and increased self-awareness.

My childhood experiences made me vulnerable to these mental health issues, which threatened my creativity and colored my worldview.

My happiness usually overflows when I'm deeply engaged in my creative process of writing, producing, or researching. In moments like these, I act like a child, dancing or making weird noises that easily get judged by onlookers who are strangers to my personality.

My sadness on the other hand, usually creeps in when I remember I am 36, still single, with no reasonable financial growth - despite all my efforts to generate legitimate capital for my Multimedia Studio project, through forex trading, freelancing, entrepreneurship, and a “prestigious” low-paying 9-5 (with lots of expectations).

My hair turned gray due to severe stress, anxiety, and depression - a mental illness suffered by many young men in Africa, under pressure to provide for their families while battling with inflation - the high cost of living crisis, and poor economic policies by an insensitive government.